


Marry me. (Okay.)

by ThePlagueBeast



Series: Clexa One-Shots [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, F/F, Humor, fake fake relationship, this is dumb and so am I
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-03-10
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:00:57
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23092237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePlagueBeast/pseuds/ThePlagueBeast
Summary: Clarke and Lexa got married and no one quite believes it.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Series: Clexa One-Shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1661992
Comments: 12
Kudos: 232





	Marry me. (Okay.)

From the outside, their relationship seemed more like an incredibly in-depth and long-running joke. In point of fact, most of their friends thought it _was_ an incredibly in-depth and long-running joke. Not that the idea of them together was laughable, as such, but rather the simple fact that as far as any of them knew, the pair had never dated, and had instead showed up one day stating they were married. To each other.

When met with incredulous looks and laughter they just shrugged and rolled with it. Far be it from them to try proving anything to anyone. They knew. 

~~~

“Marry me.”

Clarke barely twitched before the words really hit. She paused her game and tilted her head towards Lexa to gauge her expression. She was serious. Clarke turned the idea over in her mind for a few moments before nodding. 

“Okay.”

~~~

It was a quick courthouse affair and neither of them bothered to take photos. As far as they cared it didn’t change anything except legal rights to each other, and that’s all they wanted anyways. Their relationship was solid, rock solid, the marriage was just a formality for the rest of the world to acknowledge what they already knew.

They’d never be separated.

~~~

“I’m getting really fed up with them setting me up on ninja’d blind dates.”

Clarke flung her bag into the corner while Lexa strolled in from the kitchen.

“Again?”

“ _Again_.”

“I really don’t know how much more clear we can be. We’re living together. We haven’t even flirted with anyone else. We kiss _on the mouth, **in front of them**_ , and yet.”

“And yet.”

“Do they really think we’ve got nothing better to do than hold this as a running joke for… five years now?”

“ _Apparently?_ ”

~~~

“Raven. Raven I do not… I don’t fucking… _How_ much more clear I can be on this. I’m not going on _any_ dates with _anyone_ you try to set me up with!”

“I just don’t see why not?”

“Because I am _literally married_!”

“To **who**!?”

Clarke just stared gap-faced at Raven, deeply regretting in that moment alone the shotgun nature of their nuptials. If even one of them had been there as witness… It would’ve saved her hundreds in headache medication over the years.

“To _Lexa_ , like I’ve said every time this has happened, for the last _five years_.”

Raven shrugged in response. “It’s a good go-to line for not dating but honestly-”

Clarke let out an absolutely undignified shriek that devolved into a bone-weary groan as she buried her face in her hands.

“That’s it. That’s absolutely it,” she muttered to herself, “I’d really hoped that someday, eventually, you guys would just take us at our word. Like, doesn’t it seem a _little_ ridiculous that this is all some kind of long-con from us? Does that seem like something _Lexa_ would do?”

She was flipping through her photo cloud, scrolling back years and years looking for the one photo they did take on the day of their wedding. 

“Well, yeah, but that’s why we’re always pushing you guys so hard about it.”

Clarke released another utterly undignified sound, pure animal exasperation. 

“Look, bitch, if you want the original or whatever you’re paying filing fees yourself, this is the best I’ve got, but freaking _look_.”

She shoved her phone in her friend’s face, the wedding certificate fully visible and zoomed in on their signatures. Raven grabbed the phone and squinted.

“Check the upload date. Check the signed date. Check with the freakin’ _county clerk_ if you really want to.”

Raven quickly checked the dates, then scrutinized the image again, before going very still and very pale. Clarke snatched her phone back and gave her friend a withering glare. 

“No more setting either of us up?”

“Yeah,” she croaked, quickly re-evaluating everything she knew about the pair for the last five years.

~~~

“Wait, you guys have been together _this whole time_!?”

“Jas… Jasper… We’ve literally told you guys every time it comes up.”

Clarke buried her face in her palms while Lexa rubbed at her shoulder.

“Literally every time. I don’t… You guys are kind of insane, you know that right?”

Lexa made sure to catch everyone’s eye, giving them the most ‘are you kidding me’ look she could possibly muster.

“It’s just… did you guys even date?”

“No,” Lexa said simply, with a shrug, like why would they have bothered?

“So a week after Clarke turns 18 you guys just… go to the courthouse and get hitched? And that doesn’t seem ridiculous to you?”

“More or less ridiculous,” Clarke began slowly, “than keeping up a charade of being married for five years?”

The group cast looks to each other, visually debating who was responsible for letting it get so blatantly insane. Finally, Monty spoke up.

“I always believed you. No one believed me though.”

“That’s because you’re a sweetheart Monty.”

~~~

From the outside their relationship looked stable and timeless, childhood best friends that got together after high school and stayed steady for years. Their friends were baffled, they’d never even dated! Just showed up one day stating they were married.

And that was that.

**Author's Note:**

> Y'all. I don't even know. This is so dumb. This is the _dumbest_. But god if it didn't _demand_ to be written. And so here we are. I hope someone found it even passably amusing because I don't even understand what my brain was trying to accomplish here.
> 
> _So dumb..._


End file.
